SHADOW – AHF I

Sometimes I look out of my window,
Sometimes I see your shadow,
Sometimes it is dark
and sometimes mellow
Sometimes shallow, and far…
So far that my eyes stop chasing
yet it is amazing, joyful, and hurting.
So, close my eyes I start gazing, searching
I look out of the window again,
there I see your shadow,
this time trembling, giggling, waving, 
so vivid, bright, and dark again…
but closer…
Maybe you are back, maybe your scent,
maybe your caresses are nearer,
maybe footsteps louder,
maybe presence stronger…
Closer, to the window I am looking for you
Do you see me? Do you hear me?
Press my lips against the window
touch my fingers your curly hair
A reflection so near, so dear
Your eyes are visible this time,
your eyelashes longer,
pupils bigger on the window,
a complexion so touching, enthralling,
stance so strong…
I am waiting when my heart is beating fast
and my watch is ticking slow.
I am sweating, panicking
as your shadow keeps fading, 
I get screaming, yelling, swearing,
…!
Come back to me, be with me, try me…
As your shadow is leaving,
your burning eyes are killing
yet I am breathing, shouting your name, seizing…
Stop!
But this is all speeding me towards death so willing…
I am staring into darkness, your non-existence,
words, voice – none!
you are gone!
Wait, I am rising, 
your hand is on my shoulder, you’re watching, 
trying to convince me you’re lying,
I am looking up, your eyeing, touching, hugging
The shadow is dying…

***
EK©